Thursday, October 12, 2006

Life never gets easier...

I recently began a new job as a literacy coordinator and support teacher at Ross Road School. This is a welcome change from 3 years of substitute teaching and one year of teaching for a non-profit group where I worked with very troubled youth living in group care. Not that either of those jobs was without merit or its own sense of fulfillment, but knowing where I will work and having some expectation of stability about who I will work with and how they will behave is a very valuable thing when you have existed without either for nearly 5 years.

Getting a term contract was a HUGE answer to prayer, so my relief in finding full-time work was enormous.

All of that said, I found myself at work today feeling rather lost and of little consequence, and it hit me again that life never gets easier or more simple.

Lori, Jonah and I (as well as a myriad of family and friends) prayed for so long to have this opportunity, and now that we have come to the place where we enjoy its fulfillment, I see again that a prayer answered or a goal achieved doesn't lead to total satisfaction.

Not that I assumed this, but simply getting the job wasn't the end of 5 years of really deep, personal testing and struggle. It just marked the end of one struggle and the beginning of a new one.

I'm learning that the real gold in life comes from gleaning every ounce of learning and wisdom you can out of the trials and problems you go through. I can't recall the last time I didn't have some trial facing me in life. Thank God he's helping me to enjoy his process in my life as I grow through them instead of dreading life and the challenges it brings every day.

"But he knows where I am and what I've done. He can cross-examine me all
he wants, and I'll pass the test with honors." Job 23:10

I've learned from my last 5 years to celebrate how good God is when life isn't. Figuring out how to do this new job and carve out a niche where I can make a difference and be a joy in peoples' lives won't be agony- I intend to savour it and enjoy as many moments as God gives me grace for.

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